To legally attend couples counselling in Ontario while a restraining order is active, you must file a Motion to Change to create a specific exception in the order. Modifying a strict “no-contact” rule requires a judge’s approval, though filing this motion is completely free ($0 CAD).
When an Ontario family court issues a restraining order, it usually includes a strict “no-contact” provision. 🚩 This means no phone calls, no text messages, and absolutely no in-person meetings. However, relationships are dynamic. Sometimes, after a cooling-off period, both parties decide they want to work on their communication, resolve disputes amicably, or actively try to save the marriage through professional help.
If you live in Toronto, Ottawa, or Windsor, attempting to attend therapy together while a restraining order is active is a dangerous legal misstep. If the restrained person shows up at the therapist’s office, they are committing a criminal offence and can be arrested on the spot. To move forward safely, you must formally vary (modify) the court order to include a “counselling exception” as of May 2026.
Step-by-Step Process to Vary the Order in Ontario
You cannot privately amend a court order. 📋 Even if the therapist agrees to host both of you, the legal framework must be respected. Here is the step-by-step process to secure a legal exception for couples counselling.
Step 1: Find a Qualified Professional
Before asking the court for permission, you must have a concrete plan. Judges will not grant a vague exception for “talking things out.” You need to find a licensed psychotherapist, social worker, or family mediator who is trained in high-conflict relationships and domestic violence.
You must confirm that this professional is willing to conduct joint sessions despite the history of the restraining order. 📝 Many therapists require individual intake sessions first to ensure that one party is not being coerced into the process.
Step 2: Draft a Consent Motion (Form 15C)
If both the protected person and the restrained person agree to attend counselling, you can proceed by way of a Consent Motion. This is the fastest and most highly recommended route.
Your law firm will draft the Motion to Change, proposing extremely specific language. ⚔ For example: “The restrained party shall have no contact with the protected party, EXCEPT for the sole purpose of attending scheduled, joint sessions facilitated by [Name of Therapist] at [Address of Clinic] or via secure video link.”
Step 3: Submit Affidavits to the Court
The judge must understand why this modification is safe and in the best interests of both parties (and the children, if applicable). Both parties should submit Affidavits stating that the decision to enter counselling is entirely voluntary.
The protected person’s Affidavit is the most important document. 🔍 It must clearly state that they do not feel threatened in a clinical, supervised setting and that they genuinely believe mediation or therapy will benefit the family’s long-term communication.
Step 4: Obtain the Revised Court Order
Once submitted, a judge at the Superior Court of Justice or the Ontario Court of Justice will review the file. If approved, the judge will sign a varied restraining order that explicitly includes the counselling exception.
You must not attend any joint sessions until this new document is signed and filed with the court clerk. 🚨 Once received, provide a copy to the therapist and the local police detachment to update their records.
How Much Does it Cost in Ontario?
Modifying a restraining order involves both legal fees and the cost of the professional services you are requesting. 💵
- Court Filing Fees: Filing a Motion to Change (Form 15) to vary a restraining order is completely free ($0 CAD) in Ontario family courts, as there are no fees for motions or restraining order proceedings.
- Lawyer Fees: Having a family lawyer draft a Consent Motion and the accompanying Affidavits typically costs between $1,000 and $2,500 CAD.
- Therapy/Mediation Costs: Private couples counselling or mediation in Ontario usually costs between $150 and $300 CAD per hour. This is rarely covered by OHIP, though private employee health benefits may cover a portion.
| Type of Contact | Legal Status Under Standard Order | Legal Status Under Varied Order |
|---|---|---|
| Texting about the relationship | Illegal (Breach of Order) | Illegal (Unless specifically allowed) |
| Meeting at a Coffee Shop | Illegal (Breach of Order) | Illegal (Not a clinical setting) |
| Joint Zoom Session with Therapist | Illegal (Breach of Order) | Legal (Protected exception) |
How Long Does the Process Take?
Because you are usually filing this as a Consent Motion, the timeline is much faster than a standard trial. ⏱ A judge can typically review and sign a Consent Motion “over the counter” within 3 to 6 weeks.
If the modification is contested (for example, if the restrained party wants it but the protected party refuses), the process can easily drag on for 3 to 6 months. Remember, a judge will almost never force a victim of domestic violence to attend joint therapy against their will.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
What happens if we accidentally bump into each other outside the clinic?
The exception in the order is usually very narrow. If you see each other in the parking lot or waiting room, the restrained person is generally expected to leave the immediate vicinity or maintain a respectful distance until the therapist is present to supervise the interaction.
Can the therapist report us to the police?
Yes. If you attend a joint session without varying the court order first, the therapist may be legally or ethically obligated to terminate the session. Furthermore, if any new threats of violence occur during the legal counselling session, the therapist has a duty to report it to the authorities.
What if I have a criminal bail condition, not a family court order?
Family court cannot override criminal court. If the restrained person is facing pending criminal charges (like an indictable offence for assault) and has a “no-contact” bail condition, they must apply to the criminal court through their defence lawyer to vary the bail terms. This requires the consent of the Crown Attorney.
What happens if the counselling fails?
If the therapy is unsuccessful and one party wishes to terminate the sessions, the counselling exception simply becomes moot. The underlying restraining order and all of its standard “no-contact” rules remain fully in force to protect you moving forward.
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